


Habits of The Heart

by Mythicalseries



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Angst, Giveaway fic, M/M, affair, rhink
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2018-12-11 19:41:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11721186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mythicalseries/pseuds/Mythicalseries
Summary: They're trapped in an affair they should have ended, but letting go is easier said than done.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mythicalpatterns](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mythicalpatterns/gifts).



> Written as a gift for my 100 followers giveaway for [Mythicalpatterns](http://archiveofourown.org/users/mythicalpatterns), who's the sweetest person in the world. Sorry it's taken me half a million years :)
> 
> She gave me a song as a prompt, "Habits of My Heart" by Jaymes Young. I knew this one would be a painful one to write, but it inspired a whole story in my head so this turned much longer than I expected. And it became a multichapter - I hope you don't mind, MP2!

Link could feel his cheek pressed down against both the hard wood of his desk and the fluffy pillow beneath his head. He could feel his hands tied up behind his back and the soft sheets clutched between his fingers. Whether the goosebumps on his skin were a product of Rhett's fingertips ghosting down his naked spine or the sweat–cold shirt stuck to his back, he wasn't sure. He could simultaneously feel Rhett inside him and his own pulsating hardness rubbing down against the mattress while his mind struggled to figure out the line between dream and reality.  
  
Time seemed to pass slower as he tried to focus on the scene in his mind. He'd been there before. He recognized their old office, he remembered the feeling of Rhett's skin against his and the familiar breathlessness in his lungs, but something was off. Somehow it seemed like half a dream, half an echo of a moment long ago.

Link remembered the sound of the lock on the door clicking into place as they turned those four walls into isolation from the outside world. Reality could not touch them in their own little bubble of space and time. So they lost themselves there. They lost themselves in each other and convinced themselves that the stolen kisses, the stolen touches and words didn't count if the clock wasn't ticking.

He'd crumbled beneath Rhett countless times, just like he was doing now. Their bodies would move together as if they were made to do so, sweat rolling down their skin and half formed words escaping their lips as their instincts took over.  
  
"Rhett..." he heard himself moan against his pillow.  
  
But dream Rhett seemed to hear him anyway, because he understood Link's plea. He started to move faster as Link focused on the increasingly ragged breath behind him. He felt Rhett tug strongly at the tie around his wrists, making Link arch his back.

He had to admit he used to love it when they did this. He used to love the burning, unsatisfied need to touch, probably because he knew there would always be another time, another day when Rhett would be under his own hands. He used to put his complete trust in Rhett, and he was always rewarded for it. Nowadays, the fear of not being able to have another time, another day, burned more than the lust they used to share. His need to touch grew desperate, and even though he still placed his trust in Rhett’s hands, it didn’t feel as rewarding anymore.

As if his mind obeyed the desires of his heart, he felt Rhett undo the knot behind his back and Link felt like he was getting air in his lungs again. He stood up as much as he could, Rhett holding onto his hips, keeping him balanced as he kept thrusting into him. Link lifted one of his hands over his shoulder and reached for Rhett, closing his eyes at the soft feeling of Rhett’s hair sliding in between his fingers.

He could almost feel the heat emanating from the body behind his and Rhett’s beard just below his ear. He gasped when Rhett pressed a kiss in the crook between his neck and his shoulder, a rare tenderness in it that Link’s heart ached for.

But he was close. So close he could feel the tension building up within him, but he was trying his best to hold on. He knew the moment he let his ecstasy flow, it would all be over. He gripped Rhett’s scalp tightly when he felt the other man’s breath next to his ear, and three whispered words filled every corner of his mind.

And there it was. The reminder that none of this was real.

Link’s body let go at the sound of Rhett’s voice as the walls of the office around him crumbled down bit by bit and every piece of furniture disappeared one by one. He’d heard the words before, and they were now breaking down this reality just like they had once wrecked his outside world. For a second, it was just him and Rhett surrounded by darkness. A real, but imaginary, separate world where it was just the two of them.

_I love you_ , Link wanted to say back. And he tried. He wanted to scream it as if the real Rhett would somehow hear him. But even in his mind, his voice disappeared, and so did Rhett.

Link was left alone in the dark, and he awoke to a similar picture.

 

As he opened his eyes slowly, it didn’t take Link long to notice that Christy’s side of the bed was empty. Unlike his dream, at least he could make out enough of the room thanks to the moonlight coming in from the window. He sighed. He sat up against the headboard, rubbing at his eyes before feeling the temperature of the sheets on the other side of the bed. They were cold, so Christy must have been gone a while. This wasn’t a first, and Link didn’t blame her.

He couldn’t imagine how she put up with all this. Or why. She had said that Link’s mumbling in his sleep was what first tipped her off about the affair. She had told him about the moans and the grunts and how they made her blood boil. What she hadn’t told him was how she used to cry silently at the smile on Link’s face whenever Rhett’s name slipped from his lips.

It had been only when the guilt settled in and the fights between him and Rhett started that Christy couldn’t handle it anymore. Link had been bringing his bad mood home for weeks, shutting everyone out and lashing out at the smallest problems. In the end, all it had taken was one broken glass for the truth to spill out.

“I can’t do this anymore, Link,” she had said. Her voice sounded calm, but he could see the fire raging in her eyes. “I can’t let you treat us like this just because he’s not fucking you right.”

It was all downhill from there. There had been tears, more silence and more yelling until it all fell apart.

Link loved Rhett. God, he loved him. And having to tell him it was over was the hardest thing Link ever had to do. The affair was over, the partnership was over, their thirty year long friendship. All of it. And for a while, they believed that to be true.

But when, five weeks later, his phone rang and Rhett’s voice came from the other side, Link realized some habits were just too hard to drop. And loving Rhett was one he’d picked up a long time ago.

He tore his eyes away from his wife’s side of the bed, closing them for a second as he lightly but purposefully banged his head against the headboard. His wife was a much better person than he ever would be, he thought. The fact that he felt worse about hurting her with his sleep talking than with his affair only proved it further.

The dreams had never really stopped, but by this time, Christy had grown tired. She had no fight left in her, and all her tears had dried up, so whenever Rhett appeared in Link’s dreams, he’d always wake up to an empty bed and one less blanket. She’d sleep on the couch and shy away when he’d try kissing her goodbye before leaving for work in the morning. And he knew he deserved it.

He gazed back at his phone charging on his nightstand before pressing the button to light up the screen. He had no new messages. Link sighed, not even bothering to look at the time. He might have deserved his wife’s cold shoulder, but not Rhett’s. Not the man for whom he was risking his family’s happiness.

The lack of messages didn’t really surprise him, though. They had an unspoken agreement that phone calls were the norm, and they’d talk at least once a week or so. This time, however, it had been ten days since Rhett’s last call, and almost two weeks since they managed to sneak away together. That was about twice as long as they were used to, and it was driving Link crazy.

He watched the screen of his phone turn black again before setting his head back down on his pillow. He told himself to stop thinking about Rhett and get some sleep, but Rhett seemed to follow him into his dreams as well. Link knew there was no escaping him. He’d surrendered to that fact hundreds of nights ago.

 

 

Link watched the cream twirl and disappear into his GMM coffee mug. He hadn’t taken much when he left Mythical Entertainment. A few mementos, his mug with the old GMM logo and the pictures from his desk were most of it. Rhett had even insisted he take the signed Lionel picture, but Link refused, just like he did with every other offer Rhett made. Even if he was leaving it all behind, that place, that office, would always feel like it was half Link’s, and those things still belonged there. Maybe it was wishful thinking that one day he might be able to return and find things just the way he left them, but right now that seemed like a distant dream, if not an impossible one.

Either way, he had begged Rhett not to sell the company. He told Rhett that if he was the one who was breaking them apart, he should also be the one to leave. So he did. He resigned his half of Mythical Entertainment and started working as a producer for YouTube while Rhett tried - and failed - to keep smiling for the camera as he always had.

To be fair, the YouTube space in LA wasn’t a half bad place to work, and he didn’t hate what he did at all. He was respected and the projects were interesting. But they weren’t his. And they weren’t Rhett’s, so the spark and rush of being a creator wasn’t there anymore. The one thing that would bring a smile to his face was the big mural in the entrance hall, where he could see his own face covered in bees from an old GMM episode that had gone viral. Those had been the good days, the ones before they over complicated things and tore it all down. 

Two days had passed since that restless night, and Link found himself at the office kitchen making his third cup of coffee for the day. He had been anything but focused lately, and he thanked God that it wasn’t a work-heavy season, because otherwise he would have had to explain his lack of productivity. Needless to say, he wouldn’t have had a good answer.

It was only when he felt a buzz in his back pocket that the fog in his mind dissipated, and his breath caught in his throat as soon as he took out the phone. Seeing Rhett’s name appear on the screen was almost like a dehydrated man in the middle of the desert finding an oasis. But as much as he wanted to answer it right away, he still had some dignity left. He took a deep, shaky breath as he counted five seconds before sliding the green phone across the screen.

“Hey,” his voice said, almost with relief.

He heard Rhett sighing on the other side. He didn’t need to see him to know he must have been wearing the same expression Link did. Something still felt weird about having to say hello, and they both hated the fact that they had reached that point. But goodbyes were even worse.

“I’m sorry.” Rhett said. Straight to the point as always.

“I know.” Link looked around, spotting a few people who couldn’t have minded Link’s business any less, but he still needed the privacy. “Hold on,” he told Rhett. He grabbed his coffee mug from the countertop and moved towards his office near the end of the hall. In moments like this, he always wished the wall that isolated his office wasn’t made of glass, but at least no one would overhear him there.

Rhett had grown used to the sound of Link’s desk chair rolling to face the window and the defeated sigh that Link made was his cue to speak. “What’s up?”

“Not much. Slow day.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Silence hung in the air as they just listened to each other breathe for a few seconds. Link bent forward in his chair, resting an elbow on his knee as he rubbed his forehead. He knew what was coming. Each time he found himself in that position, his phone on his ear and his head hanging low, he would wish he hadn’t answered the phone, but then three words would come from Rhett’s side and destroy any sense of pride he had left in him.

“I miss you.”

_Fuck_ , Link thought. He chuckled sadly, shaking his head before speaking again. “I know.” But sometimes Link wondered whether he actually did, or if Rhett was just doing this to torture him. The worst part was that Link would have let him anyway. “When?”

“I’d say right now, if it were up to me.”

Link smiled, tears forming in his eyes. Rhett made it so hard. “I get off at six today. Will that do?”

“You know I have to leave at seven, man. We’d get half an hour, maybe less.”

“Well, it’s all I’ve got, Rhett. Take it or leave it.”

He could hear Rhett inhale deeply, letting the air out slowly as he considered the idea. “Okay,” he said in the end. “It’s better than nothing, I guess.” But Link wasn’t so sure about that.

“See you later, then.”

“Yeah,” Rhett muttered. Link could tell he didn’t want the conversation to end, but it had been a long time since Rhett had had something real to say. “See ya.”

That was all they ever got. Few words and little time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second chapter will be coming some time this week, for sure.


	2. Chapter 2

The parking lot behind the studio was mostly empty when Link pulled over, Rhett’s car sitting alone near the back. Link smiled at the sight of the car. He and Rhett used to carpool to work in it half the time, and even on the days when they had nothing to say in the morning, sharing the silence used to be more comfortable than any conversation they had nowadays.

He parked beside it, turning off the ignition just as he saw Rhett’s blonde head peeking out the office window. Link’s eyes darted toward the clock on the dashboard for a second and watched it mark 6:39 pm. By the time he returned his gaze to the window, Rhett's face had disappeared again and Link could only sigh as he stared at the curtain now covering the view from the office inside.

It was a strange feeling having someone he knew so well become a stranger. Because he still knew Rhett inside out; he was sure of that. He knew what he liked and what he hated, he knew what buttons to push and which ones to avoid, and he could map Rhett's body blindfolded if he had to. But this Rhett was not his Rhett.

This Rhett was familiar yet unknown to him, a mere shadow of the man Link once fell in love with. His old friend would have smiled warmly at him through the window, lifting his hand in a slight wave and making Link laugh along the way. He was such a dork, his Rhett. And it was that smile, Link thought, the sheer hope of seeing it again, that made it impossible for him to let this new Rhett go.

He sighed contentedly as he typed in the code for the door; it was comforting to know that at least some things remained the same. From the moment he entered the studio until he crossed the door of their office -- now Rhett's -- Link could almost pretend everything was just the way it used to be. But as he took a peek inside, the image of the old leather couch in the place where his desk used to be soon shot down that fantasy. It wasn’t the first time he’d been here since then, but he still hadn’t grown used to it.

The one other thing he hadn’t gotten used to was the sad smile on Rhett’s face greeting him every time they did this, but Link still gave him a half hearted smile in return. It was almost a ritual by now, but even the slight upturn of their lips always disappeared a second later.

Rhett’s black t-shirt had always been Link’s favorite look of his, and after almost two weeks, he was really a sight to take in. He’d keep the mental picture of Rhett standing there for later, the reddish light from the sunset coming in through the window, hitting his eyes as he memorized the sight of Link himself.

Link had barely managed to part his lips to say something before Rhett was taking the unspoken words away from him. Rhett’s long legs had crossed the space between them in just two strides and his hands had already taken their usual place at each side of Link’s face. His lips were desperate against Link’s, chasing an emotion more than a physical feeling, and even though he knew he wouldn’t find what he was looking for, that didn’t stop either of them from trying.

Link wasn’t sure if his lungs were burning because he needed to breathe or if they were getting air for the first time in weeks. Still, he gripped Rhett's hips, pushing slightly until the other man got the message.

“Hi,” Rhett said, quite breathless himself.

A corner of Link's mouth turned upwards into a smile when he noticed Rhett’s eyes fixed on his lips. “Hi.”

He tilted up to crash Rhett's lips with his again forcefully as he slipped off his denim jacket and threw it towards one of the new armchairs where the couch used to be. He soon got ahold of Rhett's neck, pulling him down while Rhett focused on walking them backwards toward the couch. Normally they'd take this up to the loft, but not today. Not when the clock kept ticking.

Rhett lowered Link down on his back, his knees framing Link’s in a swift, rehearsed movement. Link’s mind, which was usually focused on the distant idea of Rhett, was suddenly overwhelmed by the very real taste of him on his tongue and the pressure of his hands against his skin. It was simultaneously too much and not enough.

Their minds and bodies in sync as they ever were, Link bucked up his hips just as Rhett ground down. Link moaned, feeling Rhett’s deep groan reverberate in his bones as they settled into their usual slow-but-hard rhythm. It was like they didn’t want it to end while resigning themselves to getting the most out of the little time they were allowed.

Link even let out a small whine, chasing Rhett's lips as the other man sat up to take off his shirt. He saw the black shirt drop on the floor out of the corner of his eye, and as much as he loved the way it looked on Rhett, he decided he liked it even better on the floor.

He didn't get too much time to think about it before Rhett's lips were on his again. With his arms now wrapped around Rhett's neck, Link could feel the burning skin beneath his hands as he clawed his way up the other man's back. His pants were already tight, and from the distinct hardness he could feel rubbing against his thigh, he could tell Rhett’s were as well.

Rhett's lips moved to his cheek, then his jaw, then his neck, firing up every skin cell they grazed. Meanwhile, one of his hands traveled down Link's body toward the button on his jeans, Link's breath gone as he shivered in anticipation. Seemingly in a rush and impatient, Rhett undid the button and zipped down his fly in a movement they had practiced dozens of times before.

They had lost count just a few months after it all started. Link figured their number for the first blissful eighteen months had to be in the couple hundreds; being the bosses and sharing an office had definitely had its perks. They'd had five hundred and forty seven days that should never have happened, but they’d been the happiest ones of Link's life. And he didn't regret them. Even if he knew he knew he should.

For a long time, Link had been sure he and Rhett had finally gotten it right. In his mind, they hadn't made an eighteen month-long mistake, but one that had lasted thirty years. As much as he loved his family and the life they had built, it still felt like they had thrown away time. But even that was better than whatever they were doing now.

Rhett's hot breath on his skin still made him dizzy, but things were not the same. Where Link used to feel devotion, he now sensed the shallowness behind each press of Rhett's lips against his neck. And each time they got together it seemed to get worse.

It had been nine months since Rhett's phone call threw his life into a new downward spiral, and this time, each glance, word and touch was filled with guilt - maybe even regret. But Link still refused to associate that word with Rhett. As much as he tried, though, it was hard not to when the contrast between the heat between bodies and the cold between their souls filled his every thought.

“Rhett…” he moaned, rolling his hips against Rhett's palm, now inside his jeans.

Seemingly pleased with the need in Link's voice, Rhett hummed in approval against his neck. “I missed you too, buddy,” he smirked.

 _Buddy_. The word left Link feeling like Rhett had just dropped a ton of bricks on his chest. He wasn't sure what hurt the most about it - the possibility that they might be just that or that they really weren’t that at all.

The word had clearly rolled off Rhett's tongue without a second thought, because the hand stroking him through his underwear hadn't hesitated for second. And it was too much. The hurt and the need were both overwhelming, an unbearable battle raged on between the two inside his mind, but when he managed to find his voice again, it was clear which one had come out victorious. “Don't…”

“What? It's true!” Rhett insisted with a chuckle.

Link shook his head, sighing frustratedly. “No. I-” _Just say it_. He shook Rhett's face off his neck, making the hand in his pants halt as well. When he met the startled green eyes above him, his pain suddenly turned into anger, and he couldn't stop the words from coming out. “I'm not your buddy.”

He sat up, forcing Rhett to lean back on his heels. He avoided the other man's gaze, set on following his every move as he slipped his body from underneath Rhett. He knew what he would find in Rhett's eyes were he to give in. He would see the same feeling of betrayal behind them as the one he saw the day Link broke his heart. He would see just as much pain, albeit with less surprise about it, but above it all, Link would see his own pain reflected back at him.

He stood up swiftly, taking a few steps toward the opposite wall. Rhett moved to sit down on the edge of the couch, forearms on his knees as he stared at Link's back. When Link didn't turn around, Rhett sighed defeatedly. “What should I call you then?”

“I don't know, Rhett. You tell me. You're the one who started all this.”

He knew it was a low blow. And he knew it'd had the expected effect when it took a few seconds for Rhett to find his words again. As he waited, he looked down at his fumbling hands working on zipping his pants back up.

“What's the matter with you today?”

“What's the _matter_ with me?” Link laughed ironically. It was definitely one of those 'laugh not to cry’ moments. “Sorry for ruining your mood. Maybe Jessie will take care of that for you later.”

“Fuck you, Link.”

“I believe you were trying. I mean, it's all we ever do now, isn't it?” He straightened his shirt and went to grab his jacket from where it hung over the armchair. He sighed as he put it on, but still refused to look at Rhett. “Sometimes I feel like I could be anyone and it wouldn't make a difference to you.”

If he'd been looking at him, Link would have seen Rhett's eyes turn as wide as saucers. “ _Anyone_?" He said, now standing up. "You really think I'd risk my family, my life, all of it, for _anyone_?!”

“Then who would you do it for, Rhett?!” Link snapped, finally turning around.

As Rhett now looked him in the eye, Link saw everything he expected, and it burned, but the added incredulous look on Rhett's face threw him off. ‘Don't you know?’ he seemed to ask.

“For you.” Rhett said, almost in a whisper. “I'd do it for you.”

At that moment, Link could have cried. Rhett could have, too. But instead of letting their guards down, they chose to do what they'd become so good at: they hurt each other.

“And what am I?”

“Well… Not a buddy.” Rhett was angry now. “You made sure of that.”

Link walked out of the office with boiling blood in his veins and a thousand curse words on the tip of his tongue. As he stomped his way through the crew’s desks, the ringing in his ears didn't let him make out the words in Rhett's voice, echoing through the empty building. He didn't care anyway.

He walked to his car, not bothering to check whether Rhett was looking at him through the window, and slammed the door as he got in. He fumbled with the keys, trying desperately to turn on the ignition, but the tears in his eyes weren't making it easy. He was only now noticing the wet tracks dripping down his face and his labored breathing. He wondered how long he'd been crying. _Did Rhett see? Can he see me now?_ He needed to get out of there. Now.

Before he knew it he was out of the studio parking lot and onto a very blurry street. He wasn't sure whether the problem was the fog covering his glasses or the one in his mind, but either way, he didn't get very far. Probably wisely, he pulled over just three blocks away.

He killed the engine and stared ahead for a good minute, air struggling to reach his lungs. _Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuck_ , he thought, matching each word with a forceful hit to the steering wheel. When he let out enough pent up anger, his white knuckles gripped it tightly as he dropped his head down between his arms. _Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale_.

He knew he should get it together, if not for his own pride, then for Christy. The clock on the dashboard marked 7:14 pm, so his wife would be waiting for him at home. But no matter how hard he tried to look presentable, she would know. She always did. By now, she wouldn't really be surprised. Link would walk in to a lonely covered plate on the table, his kids in their respective rooms, and his wife hiding in their bedroom. She'd turn away from him when he got into bed that night, not speaking a word, and Link knew he should care more about it. But the guilt that usually chipped his sanity away had a different source this time.

 _Rhett's right. I let us get to this point. It's my fault_. He cursed himself over and over again, but he didn't let Rhett go guilt-free either. _He never fought me. He just let me tear it all down like it was nothing. But maybe it never really meant anything to him. Maybe it was always just an easy fuck for him_. Link felt dirty and used, and he felt like he could throw up. _Maybe he never loved me. Maybe he just loved himself_.

As his breathing steadied, driven by rage rather than by a settled calm, he turned the car back on and headed home. As he left the studio further and further behind, he tried to convince himself that that was it. The real end of it all. _If he loves himself so much, he can fuck himself_ , he thought. He told himself he hated Rhett, that he wouldn't answer any of his calls ever again. But by the time he was pulling up in his driveway, he already knew he didn't have it in him.

Rhett McLaughlin was seared onto his bones, and that was the problem. He would have preferred to be alone if it meant the pain would stop; his, Rhett's, and Christy’s. He would have preferred to be numb and not feel a damn thing if it would make everything okay. But some things couldn't be helped, and Link holding onto Rhett was one of them.


	3. Chapter 3

It’d been over three weeks since that day back at the studio. If someone had asked Link to describe those weeks, he would have probably chosen the word ‘silent’. It was as if his life had started turning number and greyer with each passing day, but it was the deafening silence all around him that struck him the most.  
  
There had been no calls from Rhett since that day. No messages. He’d fall asleep staring at his phone charging on his bedside table, hoping, almost praying, it would suddenly light up and Rhett’s name would appear on the screen.  
  
The first week Link’d been so sure Rhett would call, he’d spent hours on end thinking about what he’d say. He’d gone through a thousand different ways their conversation could go, a thousand ways they’d say ‘I love you’ without actually saying it, and a thousand ways to say ‘I’m sorry’. He could almost hear Rhett’s voice saying the words in his mind.  
  
By the second week he’d started imagining the sound of his phone ringing, only to be disappointed when he’d see he’d had no new calls. _He’s just busy_ , he’d tell himself. _It’s happened before_. But Rhett’s imaginary apology in his head had started fading.  
  
By the end of week three, there were no sounds anymore. No phones ringing. No trace of Rhett’s voice in his head. Not even a word from his wife to stop him from drowning in his own despair.  
  
But just as he was about to give up all hope, the silence in his life was broken on a seemingly normal Saturday afternoon by the unexpected sound of Jessie McLaughlin’s voice coming from his front door.  
  
  
After everything that had happened, Link was well aware that he and Rhett had torn it all down, so he took as little comfort as he could in the fact that their kids remained friends as always.  
  
When Christy had found out about the affair, as hurt as she was, she hadn’t had the heart to split them apart. To him, it was only proof that she was far better than he ever deserved, and he’d always be grateful to her for keeping the kids away from the blast of destruction they'd caused. Still, even though she kept seeing Jessie from time to time, it was never the same between the two of them. And of course, Christy had resented him for that, too.  
  
The thing was that Jessie had never found out the whole truth. She knew something had happened, yes, but she didn’t know what or why. Yet, by the way she looked at him, Link knew that she hadn’t forgiven him for causing Rhett so much pain. In her mind, Link had probably grown ambitious and decided to ditch Rhett to find a spotlight all for himself. She probably thought he'd been cruel and disloyal, and despite it being true, she didn't understand the real reasons behind it all.

“Locke! Shephard! Get your stuff! Now, quickly!”  
  
Link could hear Jessie’s distressed voice coming from the other side of the house, making him look away from the computer screen in front of him. _Since when are Locke and Shep here?_ Link thought, confused. He’d been locked away in his office all day, but he knew only the prison of his own mind was soundproof enough to prevent him from hearing Rhett’s kids running around in his backyard.  
  
“Woah, Jess!” Christy said, as she followed after her. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”  
  
She kept signaling her kids to hurry while Christy tried to get her attention. The boys seemed to understand by the look on their mother’s face that it was best not to ask for explanations and just did as they were told. Shep put on his shoes while Locke swapped nerf guns with Lincoln to get his own, neither of them saying a word before bee lining toward the front door.  
  
Link walked past them, only managing a whispered ‘hey’ and a comforting smile before they disappeared out the door.  
  
“Jess, please,” he heard his wife say just as he walked into the room.  
  
Jessie shook her head as she freed her wrist from Christy’s grip. “I don’t wanna talk about it right now, okay? I --”  
  
And there it was. The look that told Link everything he needed to know.  
  
If looks could kill, Link was sure he would have died there and then at least three times over. Jessie’s eyes were practically burning a hole into his skull, a firing rage in them that he’d seen before. He could see the same anger and disgust in Jessie’s eyes as the ones he’d seen in Christy’s on a dreadful night, what seemed like a lifetime ago.  
  
_She knows. She knows it all._  
  
“I need to take my kids home.”  
  
All the words he felt he should have said seemed to get stuck in his throat, and within a second, it was already too late. As Jessie slammed the door behind her, he cursed under his breath, feeling as powerless as he’d ever felt. He stared at his feet for a moment, before lifting his eyes to meet his wife’s. The sadness in her gaze told him she must have sensed it as well, as her eyes seemed to say: ‘Look at the mess you’ve made. This is on you.’ And Link could only look down again. He wasn’t going to argue with that.

 

He spent the rest of the day hiding in his office, shame eating away at his every thought. He came out of his refuge just a little after midnight, having seemingly decided to grab some leftovers even though he wasn’t really hungry.

 _How does she know?_ He thought as he opened the fridge door.  
  
_Did she find something?_ He shook his head, knowing it was impossible. _What could she find?_ There were no texts, no emails. They’d made sure of that.  
  
_Then how could she know?_ He wondered, watching the timer on his microwave countdown. _Would he do it? Could Rhett have told her the truth?_  
  
_But why?_ He sat in his dining room, staring at his reheated plate of food as his mind drifted away. While logic tried to convince him to consider any possibility, his heart kept bringing him back to that question: _why?_

Only God knows how long he sat there, but his plate was already cold again when his son Lincoln’s hand on his shoulder brought him out of his thoughts.

“Dad?” he said as quietly as he could, but it startled Link anyway. The slightly worried expression on his face told him that it probably wasn’t the first time his son had called for him.  
  
The rest of the house was in silence, probably asleep now. He noticed all the lights were off, except for the one above his head and a small lamp in the far corner of the living room, but he couldn’t remember whether they were already like that when he first sat down.  
  
“Hey, what are you doing up, buddy?”  
  
“Is everything okay?” He suddenly looked so small. “Are you and mom fighting again?”  
  
His words were like a knife to Link’s heart. “What makes you say that?”  
  
Without saying anything, Lincoln just turned around and pointed at the folded up blanket and pillow on the couch. A second knife. Link wondered whether those were already there or if he could have been so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn’t notice Christy coming down to leave them for him.  
  
“No, I just… I knew I was working late tonight so I thought I might as well sleep here. Didn’t want to wake up your mother. It’s nothing.”  
  
“So when I heard her cry today, was that nothing too?” A third knife. Link wasn’t sure how many more he could take. “I’m not a kid anymore, dad. I can tell something’s going on.”  
  
Link smiled sadly as he stared at the half-lit silhouette of his son. He was right, Link thought. Lincoln had grown taller, and stronger, and Link could tell his features had started growing more defined. His son was entering his teenage years, he realized, so the days where he could lie to his face and get away with it were over. ‘Everything will be alright’ is what he wanted to say. But he couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud with conviction.  
  
“Go back to bed, son,” he said, standing up. He leaned down to kiss the top of Lincoln’s head, before pulling away and looking at him straight in the eye. “I love you, okay?”  
  
Lincoln seemed confused with his dad’s response, but he nodded anyway. “Goodnight, dad.”

He tried his best to put on at least half a smile as he watched his son walk up the stairs, but by the time he heard the sound of Lincoln’s door clicking into place, he was already wearing a blank expression on his face again. “Goodnight”, he whispered now into an empty room.

  
It was a good thing that Link didn’t mind the couch. He used to love taking naps there on the weekends, when the kids were outside and his afternoons were quiet. He would lay with his feet toward the window, always dozing off to the far sound of his kids playing and the sight of the wind moving the leaves of the enormous tree in his neighbor’s front yard. And had he been able to focus on anything other than Rhett, he would have found the quiet of night was just as pleasant. He would have stared at the way moonlight turned the grass silver and the way it slipped through the leaves, only to fall asleep in no time. But he didn’t.

He barely slept that night. He lay face up, one forearm over his eyes as his mind echoed the same word time and time again. _Why?_

_Why would he do it? Why would he tell the truth now? He’d be risking it all for what? A clear conscience? Rhett, you idiot._

As if his mind was trying to answer his own question, the words Rhett had said that afternoon in the studio came rushing back.

"You really think I'd risk my family, my life, all of it, for anyone?!”

“Then who would you do it for, Rhett?!” Link had snapped back.

Link remembered Rhett’s almost heartbroken look, and the sting in his chest felt just as painful as it had that day.

“For you.” Rhett had said, almost in a whisper. “I'd do it for you.”

Now lying alone in the dark, with no one around to judge him other than himself, he let a quiet tear slowly slip down his face. _You idiot._  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Your comments and kudos are always appreaciated! :)
> 
> You can also find me as [Mythicalseries](http://mythicalseries.tumblr.com) on Tumblr


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